Fuck You, Garnier Fructis

I’ve always had this innate knowledge that Garnier Fructis is bad for your hair… either I was born with it like spiders know how to make webs without being taught or it comes from some long ago hair trauma that I’ve repressed//forgot about.

Anyway, I was willing to deviate from my organic haircare path to try Garnier Fructis Fall Fight¬†because all I really want is long, luxurious hair and my mom was paying for my CVS purchases. Also, the only thing that makes me LITERALLY gag is wet hair clumped in the drain. I’m like choking on my tongue thinking about it.*

I thought for a quick second that Fall Fight was working really well! My hair smelled bomb and felt a lot thicker, I definately had a more substantial bun. Over time (re: 2 weeks) I realized it was just very dry and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was massaging parabens into my scalp every time I used the conditioner. Then the other day I was combing out my hair in the shower and literally half a cup of hair ended up in the drain. EWWWW and also unacceptable. I’m switching back to my alternating Renpure and Sally Hershberger (which I know isn’ organic, but w/e) regimen.

None of this is very scientific, but even if I’m wrong, fancy ladies only use organic! Don’t you remember when everyone was afraid of “fragrance”? Read yo labels.

(*SOMEONE on my floor has really long hair and leaves like little hair paddies in the shower and its fucking disgusting. I’m guessing its the same person who doesn’t rinse down the tub after they shave their pubes.)

Then you might really know what it’s like to have the blues….

One response to “Fuck You, Garnier Fructis

  1. Jordan Brown

    You weren’t born with that knowledge, I definitely told you in 8th grade. Also you should know that I wasn’t even able to finish reading that first sentence before having to correct you, so surprise I’m still a bitch. Anyways, love your blog! -Jordan

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